zankiedoodleS.S. Zankiehttp://zankiedoodle.tumblr.com/post/94699933326
pardonmewhileipanic:

BLESS THIS FUCKING CHILD OMG
pardonmewhileipanic:

BLESS THIS FUCKING CHILD OMG
damn-funnyDamn Funnyhttp://damn-funny.tumblr.com/post/94230427945/pardonmewhileipanic-bless-this-fucking-childhttp://meanplastic.com/post/94133259395
Source: meanplastic via damn-funny

fasterfood:

"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.

urgentcumnot pornhttp://urgentcum.tumblr.com/post/94231320684/fasterfood-god-damn-it-i-yell-as-i-stub-myhttp://fasterfood.tumblr.com/post/36477186607/god-damn-it-i-yell-as-i-stub-my-toe-on-a-table
Source: fasterfood via urgentcum

planetfuckingjupiter:

new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs

damn-funnyDamn Funnyhttp://damn-funny.tumblr.com/post/94231637590/planetfuckingjupiter-new-olympic-sport-thehttp://planetfuckingjupiter.tumblr.com/post/44515809011
Source: planetfuckingjupiter via damn-funny

littlemammal:

at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”

urgentcumnot pornhttp://urgentcum.tumblr.com/post/94232041074/littlemammal-at-work-last-week-i-was-ringing-uphttp://littlemammal.co.vu/post/87900302738
Source: undeadmammal via urgentcum
liightupto the moon, if it existshttp://liightup.tumblr.com/post/94212912003http://kimkanyekimye.tumblr.com/post/94183377538/hahaha
Source: kimkanyekimye via liightup
liightupto the moon, if it existshttp://liightup.tumblr.com/post/94213520118http://eleventhdoctor.tumblr.com
Source: eleventhdoctor via liightup
greatfatsby:

the fault in our stars looks so good!
tinychattingAyy lmaohttp://tinychatting.tumblr.com/post/94214017930/greatfatsby-the-fault-in-our-stars-looks-sohttp://dorkface.tk/post/89973813818/the-fault-in-our-stars-looks-so-good
Source: greatfatsby via tinychatting

troyesivan:

is it morally okay to pray that your crush’s relationship doesn’t work out

liightupto the moon, if it existshttp://liightup.tumblr.com/post/94214251178/troyesivan-is-it-morally-okay-to-pray-that-yourhttp://troyesivan.tumblr.com/post/73306686788/is-it-morally-okay-to-pray-that-your-crushs
Source: troyesivan via liightup
thatfunnyblog:

fuckin hero
thatfunnyblog:

fuckin hero
thatfunnyblog:

fuckin hero
liightupto the moon, if it existshttp://liightup.tumblr.com/post/94214415243/thatfunnyblog-fuckin-herohttp://mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours.tumblr.com/post/67826964719
Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours via liightup

you know your self-esteem sucks when a really cute guy shows interest in you and you think it’s some sort of sick joke

bl-ossomed‎سعادةhttp://bl-ossomed.me/post/94214467359/you-know-your-self-esteem-sucks-when-a-really-cutehttp://fistfulof4leafclovers.tumblr.com/post/48471750951/you-know-your-self-esteem-sucks-when-a-really-cute
Source: fistfulof4leafclovers via bl-ossomed
crowhn:

indie blog
lifetips you NEED to know
lushellalushellahttp://lushella.tumblr.com/post/93707373101/crowhn-indie-blog-lifetips-you-need-to-knowhttp://marysocean.tumblr.com/post/78969127303/the-1975-in-munich-more-on-my-flickr
Source: marysocean via lushella
mialayla:

mialayla:

I love my job

I lost my job
gnarlysnapchat: gnarlyjohnnyhttp://gnarly.tumblr.com/post/93558449445/mialayla-mialayla-i-love-my-job-i-lost-my

witneyhouston:

me: hi, can i have a large—

starbucks employee: you mean a venti?

me: can we not do this 

tinychattingAyy lmaohttp://tinychatting.tumblr.com/post/93558741045/witneyhouston-me-hi-can-i-have-a-largehttp://witneyhouston.tumblr.com/post/36393149296/me-hi-can-i-have-a-large-starbucks-employee
Source: witneyhouston via tinychatting

christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

evolutionalevolutionalhttp://evolutional.tumblr.com/post/93559448958http://dearmaria.co.vu/post/70263375363/my-dad-is-a-cop-and-i-just-called-him-and-he-was
Source: ahcalamity via evolutional
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